tiga puluh

ok. it's finally here. i am 30 years old today.

when i was younger, i have pictured myself being 30 with a family, kids and all. good career, stylo, rich.

bahaha! i was too ambitious back then. i mean i am not there yet, as i imagined i'd be.

whatever it is, i am still happy with i what i have now. not to say that i is seorang yang cepat berpuas hati but alhamdulillah syukur for what Allah has given to me now.

i am 9months pregnant now. and this baby insya allah sama dengan mommy nanti - Leo and Syawal baby. hehe.

gosh. what else can i say. alhamdulillah. thanks Allah.

kalau ikut usia Rasulullah, ni dah half way to 60 years old. banyak lagi menda yang tak terbuat untuk bekalan kat sana nun.

semoga saya tak mudah lalai dan bila Allah bagi petunjuk tu janganlah Kau palingkan hati ini ya Allah.... 

and most importantly, 30 years back, this is the day when Ummy was in labour for the first time of her life. may Allah grant her with jannah. my ummy, the greatest woman, my idol, my love. love you ummy. 

30

sembang sembang

assalamualaikum...

kejap je kan masa tiba2 dah 10 hari puasa. hope everyone is having a great, meaningful ramadhan.

i dah 35weeks. puasa was lot easier masa cha dulu masa tu 3months pregnant. sebab dah memang mabuk. tak selera makan. so puasa was not a problem that time. kali ni macam menletihkan jugak dengan tak cukup tidur kan. dah banyak kali tertidur masa drive pagi2. i know i know bahaya sangat. huhu.

i don't know why lah sekarang ni i memang asik nak tidur je haha. penattt sokmo. before ni gejala susah nak tidur. ni gejala suka tidur! kikkiki. but thinking again, ok la kan. nanti ada newborn kembali zombie. lagipun cha sekarang tidur lena sepanjang malam. well most of the time lah. sometimes dia bangun nak air or nak peluk mommy or mengigau! hohh part ngigau tu mmhh mmhh mhh. ikut i la tu kot haha. 

eisya sekarang makin manja dengan mommy. tidur pon atas lengan ok. kebas tangan mak nak. kalau tak sentuh kulit masa tidur je kan nanti dia freak out bangun cakap -- nak mommyyyy nak mommyyyy! sekarang bangun tidur je perkataan pertama nak mommyy nak mommyyyyy. bangun sahur pon nak mommy riba sambil i makan tu, dia tidur atas riba ok. baby sangat.

oh memang pon suka berlakon baby. suka cakap pelat2 baaa takkkk tatakkk neneneneen. suka nangis2 macam baby. suka buat lembik2 badan. suka didodoi. haha macam2 mek cha ni kan.

sekarang ni dia asik pretend play je. kaler2 ke buku2 yang kena tulis2 tak suka sangat. baca okay lagi la tengok gambar semua. kalau bacakan buku kat dia pon dia suka tambah2 cerita. kadang i cerita boleh salah pulak tu. dia siap betulkan ikut imagination dia. hehe.

but she is missing her swimming class so much lah. tiap2 malam before tidur cakap, mommy eisya nak pergi syuwim eh esyok? alahai nak. tunggu lepas raya la ok. tu pon kalau papa sudi bawak eisya every weekend. 

on her adik. mmh. adik is doing fine. cuma she is quite small for her age. maybe sebab puasa ke apa ke tataula. tapi kalau ikut genetic pon my mom delivered all her babies under 3kg. tengok la cemana nanti dik. kalau mommy tak larat memang mommy buka je puasa.

nama dia pon kitaorang tak decide lagi. bila tanya papa dia. dia kata alaaa nanti B fikir fikir penat je nanti mesti hunny jugak yang nak decide. eiiiiiiiiiiiiiii yela kalau tak sedap memanglah kan kalau sedap n bermakna baik2 takpe hehe.

barang baby pon belum 100% complete. huhuh. next weekend kena all out lah.

you guys, please pray that i will deliver this baby masa 39++ before edd yehhh! sebab i nak raya dulu and my edd pulak dr i tak ada kat malaysia hehehe. lagipon lepas cuti raya nak terus sambung maternity leave. malas dahh nak datang kerja ni haa. hope tak bazir sangatlah maternity leave tu. amik 1 week before due. masa cha dulu 2weeks before. and memang boringlah tunggu sebab cha kuar right on her edd kan.

i got a feeling that this baby will come out sooner than her edd tapi please kasi can mommy raya dulu ok? hehehe. masa raya tu i will be 38weeks. fewh!

okaylah tu jela nak cerita. sempena ramadhan ni meh tengok cha buat apa haha. 

dia memang sibuk nak baca quran. lepas mommy solat je hulur quran cakap mommy, kita baca syama2. tapi susah ok nak baca dengan dia sebab dia asik nak selak2 page je kan. pasni kena belikan dia quran iqra' ke yang jenis plastik tu kan tak koyak.

patah seribu

patah seribu hatiku.....

kerna aku dah kertu. aku sedang sarat. tiba2 metallica datang KL. masa aku tergila2kan dorang dulu dorang sikit pon tak endah. kurang hasam.

aku rasa dulu2 aku pernah cakap kat laki aku (masa tu boyprenglah). kalaulah metallica datang malaysia one fine day, aku tak kiralah masa tu aku da tua ke dah jadi emak2 ke aku WAJIB pergi konsert dorang.

tapi besh kan dorang datang KL 21/8. which is my edd. thanks guys thanks.

tahla. aku frust. aku stress. aku jeles dengan kawan2 yang pergi.

mesti yang baca blog ni ramai emak2 kan. mesti cakap pape tah ederq ni.

korang memang takkan mengerti. tak akan mengertiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!

kaset2 cd2 dorang aku masih lagi simpan. kaset okkkk. gila classic.

hoi stress la ini macammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

abang kirk hammet, 

mulai sekarang, kita putusssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate u,
derq hammet

oh ya. anak2 aku nanti aku nak sarankan dorang layan music2 macam ni jugak. jangan harap mommy restui korang pergi konsert ala2 justin bieber ke, K pop ke. eii geli lahhhhhhhhhh!

sori naik lori

just some random thoughts here.

i seriously dont understand why would someone so dare to say something really harsh like really really harsh and mean, and then expect people to forgive right away.

there are a lot of things are better left unspoken. not discussed. not heard.

and people should really think of how to appreciate others who are different or think differently from you. it does not make any of us better than each other.

first time might be tolerable but just few more times, now i'm not just poked, man. i'm all hammered!

just for so many times, i hold. i dont fight back, i swallowed. i keep telling myself, why would i be YOU?

but now i realised that i can't be me ALL THE TIME. i have my own limit. i'm only human.  i am vulnerable. 

but being pregnant helps a lot lah. i keep telling myself that i need to keep my cool. but dunno lah how far can tahan. funny that that person is not even being sensible on me being pregnant so cant you just say the nice things to me tak boleh ke? or just dont say anything. even better.

mungkin kalau masa tak pregnant kemungkinan aku untuk react macam orang gila amokan adalah tinggi. tapi kenapa je kan aku nak samakan level dengan attitude se low class itu. NOT WORTH IT.

ini bukan sebab hormon pregnant nak cepat sentap. anyone yang kena pon akan mendidih menggelegak, kuar asap kat telinga. tinggal lagi nak sembur api kat mulut je. kalaulah betul2 akak boleh tukar jadi naga. alangkah puasnya hati ini.

if you dont have nice things to say. just shut up.

kerana mulut badan binasa kan katanya.

ingat cakap sorry can change things macam tu je ke?

HUHHHHH. in your dreams.............

The ultimate tragedy is not oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people. 

Martin Luther King, Jr