for the better...

hah. seems that i have long lists of blog posts waiting to be published. and reading them again i am glad i did not post any of them. i wanted to delete them but, no. i will keep them in the draft lists.

all written with anger, hate, fury, rage and whatever name you want to call it.

well we all have that moment. unless if you are a very lucky person. :)

moments when you cant understand some fantabulous people with small brain and narrow thinking, arrogance, racist, talk too much, loves complaining, never offer a solution, selfish, self-centered, dependent personality disorder, heartless, doubled-face, hot-tempered and list go on and on.

oh my, this people is everywhere in our daily lives. what is new about it anyway?

most of the time my heart tells me to shout and curse on their face. i wanted to say, fuck you, get lost, go to hell, i hate you, why you even exist, you better be glad i am good in anger management, or worse, just kill me now!

but my smart genius brain told me to say this instead, oh mmh. okaylah. or, what ever.

but my face will definitely show this:

heh. sorry. this (pointing my tem face) face will never lie. it will show.

i dont know if it's just me. but when i am at the phase of controlling my anger, i will feel asap panas kepul2 keluar dari telinga.

okay maybe that is too superficial for you people to believe.

but literally i can feel the heat dissipating from my head.api kemarahan gitew.

i dont normally get mad easily (depends on the issue) but my limit is quite thin too.i cant stand being the victim je, i will have my defensive mode turn on too.i will snap. yeah i am weak.

mmh. entahlah kan.

people said happiness is a choice.

indeed. we can choose to ignore stupid people, and live a happy life.

but baby it is not easy haha.

there are times when i wish i dont have to please anybody, i dont have to do anything to satisfy others, i need nobody to judge my doings, i dont need to come to work everyday, i dont need to meet up the people that i hate. just leave me alone.

sigh.

well that is so unachievable unless kau pergi dok sorang2 dalam hutan.

i am glad god gives me eisya.she taught me patient, patience, and thankfulness. alhamdulillah for that.

just pray that God will grant me with kind heart and patient to bear all these.

ameen...