the maddest

boss: Zed, what have you done?

me: to whom?

boss: to xxx

me: errr why? what have i done?

boss: he is so scared out of hell of you

me: padan muka dia (and looked at olynn and laughed)

boss: smiled (kenapa dia senyum pun aku tak tahu. macam lah mat saleh ni faham padan muka tu apa.)

then we talked about something else.

welllllll. i was nice to him for the first few weeks or months he was here. i taught him this and that.

but after a while, i keep getting the sameeeeee questions and sameeee mistakes like everytime i delegate the tasks. i was like. bored to death. and annoyed.

and furthermore i'm not the boss, not his cikgu, not his superior or anything but just a colleague who is responsible to train him.

i got frustrated when he's not remembering things i told him when i have keep saying it like trillions times.

and there are some other stories like he's using my name like when other people heard, will taught that i'm bossing him around. like twisted the real story? like to use my name to cover his back side?

penbelit. bukan aku je kena. ada few colleagues yang dah kena. tapi they all baik. tak sound balik mamat ni.

well not me, obviously.

i made it clear to him that i don't accept that. dont mess with me, things like that. jangan sampai aku pegi cakap je dekat boss. kau jangan belit2 guna nama aku.

i actually pity him, i was so stressed out last few weeks. he messed few things and i actually raised my voice to him. he looked worried and guilty and terrified. i did not scream or anything like that but i never use that tone in office so perhaps that freaked him out. not to mention myself too.

i think i said something like this: what is wrong with you? you should know this. you were working with this database to death! and you said you dont remember? what it needs to make you remember things? i keep telling this like everyday! and you have to redo all those again and whose fault is that? and such a waste of time! not just yours but my time too!

then i ajar lagi and he was like macam tikus kecil dengan aku emak kucing lapar. tapi kucing puasa. so tak kena makan. kalau tidakkkk

then after few minutes, he came to me and said. Zed, i fucked up. that was totally stupid of me. i should remember that. and i have to remove and redo again now.

i coldly said, yes you are. don't do that again. please. force your brain to at least remember few things. will you?

then he said, okay2. can you be nice to me huh next time?

me said, oh yeah? tell me why should i? you are annoying and irritating.

he said, okay fine. i know it's your pregnancy and you are fasting and all.

me said, hey hey. not that okay. you said just now you fucked up. so, i'll act the same way even if i'm not pregnant or fasting. and that's from me. if it's the boss? you know exactly what to expect, right?

he said, okay fine. sorry about that. and walked away with sad face.

eii budak ni. aku dah bagi kau makan kismis aku pun kau tak ingat2.

i was like. a bit guilty because i tend to use him to let go my anger. but of course for a concrete reason. with hope that next time he will remember and study first before come to me and ask me silly question that only can trigger my anger.

kalau boss aku yang find out mesti lagi teruk kena maki. so nasib baiklah akuuuu yang find out.

we all dah biasa kena maki like you F***ing B**tard! Di**Head! DUMBAR**! ah banyak lagi yang aku belajar dari boss aku. tulis kang tak baik puasa2 ni. haha. mula2 macam nangissss kena maki. sekarang. heartless. bila kerja okay jela rasa heartless. time kerja macam rasa tak fulfill je macam dia nak dah berdebar2. hahaahaha. pastu kalau orang lain yang kena marah yang bunyi dentum2 pun i dah berdebar. hihihi

well i'm not usually a hot tempered person. but if someone, something triggers me. memanglah amarah.

maybe my hubby is right, when i'm happy, i'll be the happiest, when i'm sad, i'll be the saddest, when i'm mad, i'll be the maddest.

what happened at the office was not the maddest. i've seen one from myself.

unbelievable me.