raya raya raya!!

daku melompat bangun dari katil tadi sebab ingat dah pukul 4.isya' belum,lauk plan nak masak sahur selamba tak masuk peti ais,baju belum pack,yada yada yada.

sekali baru pukul 2. hihi.

ni tengah nak lipat2 baju.

mmmhhh lakiku masih kerja esok, makanya hanya balik JB malam raya ok. bosan kannn

we have done raya shopping! ceh ingat aku sungguh berjimat cermat tahun ni sebab macam tak beli apa2. tapi adalah meleset sama sekali.daku dah ala2 dintis ni (pokai bahasa kak senduk)..

mula2 sungguh tekun nak stick to elaun raya B bagi tapi skhirnya tewas terpaksa top up hingga rasa dintis!!!

okaylah, nak kemas2 ni. kang bangun datin, apa pun tak boleh!

u olls, selamat hari raya tau! maafkan segala salah silap daku! semoga raya u olls meriah u olls! haha gila pengaruh kak senduk tak abis2.

drive safely, spread lotsa love and please forget about your diet and lets menggemuk together2! hihihihihi

mmm malam ni aku rasa sedih sebab ramadhan dah nak habis. quran tak khatam, terawih nan ado. harap tuhan beri peluang untuk bertemu banyak ramadhan lagi akan datang ni.....



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happy 6months young darling

oh bagaimana masa berterbangan! (oh how time flies!)

eisya adelea is now 6months young. and that means i have been a mom for 6 months. sheesshh that is quick. too quick!

lemme share her milestone now:

1. she dah terer roll on both sides now. before this belah kiri je.
   
2. if biar dia pusing2, golek2, masuk bawah kerusi jawabnya. bila dah sampai hujung dinding or bantal as barrier nanti dia jerit sebab stuck.
3. tidur lasak. pusing2 360deg and she takes lotsa space on the bed. ish kena train tido dalam cot balik.
   
4. dah cuba nak angkat dada dan lutut. straight kan tangan masa meniarap. macam nak try merangkak kot.
   
5. sangat suka berbual - menjerit. akan lawan menjerit dengan orang.
   
6. pantang tengok cermin. tengah nangis2 pun, tengok cermin, sengih. paling vain dia ni. nak2 kalau testing2 baju ke melawa ke depan cermin, sangat suka. ikut siapa tak tau. :p
7. suka tengok gambar sendiri. pun vain ni.
   
8. kalau nenen, tangan lagi satu nak menggentel nenen sebelah lagi. hepp heppp. mommy wont let you okay. so alternatively, she will korek hidung mommy, mata mommy, cubit muka mommy, cakar tangan mommy.
   
9. dengan stranger dia okay. kalau orang agah, senyum dengan pantas. nampak gusi and lesung pipit terus.
   
10. dah pandai nak gurau2. suka main kejar2 and suka tunggu orang agah dia. penat okay asik nak gurauu je.
11. dah pandai manipulate dengan buat suara tangisan syahdu dan sedih siap berair mata if mommy lambat ambil sebab buat kerja. mommy dukung terus diam.

oh ya lupa. yes she eats now! her first food was banana and she hates it so much! haha! siap nangis2 tak nak. lecek ke tak lecek ke dia tanakk!


so i quickly gave her apple. mula2 baby-led weaning. she likes it. lama2 dia malas nak pegang and bila orang pegangkan, dia tarik tangan orang suruh suap. bukan tarik buah. haha so mommy buat apple puree. kerut2 muka dia makan. makan dalam 2-4tsb je. lepas tu tanak dah. luah balik.

now she has eaten banana yang tak setap tu, apple (1day), sweet potato(3days). today carrot pulak. i was meant to give her avocado but somehow tak terbeli2. nantilah this weekend mommy beli okay.

i use steamer rumah tu. dahla besarrr! i need a smaller steamer. or the steamer with blender terus! kikikikiii.

and this time i'm happy sebab my mom tak ada langsung paksa2 nak suruh bagi makan bubur ke apa ke. she really ikut je apa yang i plan for my baby. i'm planning to cook her food before pergi kerja and my mom tinggal nak suap je. tak nak susahkan her.

wah dah 23hb. cepat gila kan? i je belum shoppin apa2 for raya. tak ada mood. tapi beli baju anak laju. hehe. beli baju sendiri if more than rm50 sekarang dah fikir 10x. tapi dress anak rm100++ cepat je. i'm so emak2. tapi tokmi kata lepas ni nak belajar jahit dress sebab nampak senang. hehe. senang hati mommy. nak harap mommy belajar jahit harap maaf.

eisya now has 6 pairs of cotton kurung. 1 nenek johor bagi, 1 aunty aini dia bagi, 1 from someone i tak suka tapi ummy kata tak baik tak amik walaupun i dah cakap, apa? kak wati bagi? tanakkkk! haha! another 3 pairs her tokmi beli swiss cotton and jahit. how come tokmi tak belanja mommy swiss cotton! nak jugakkk.

and dress ada 3 dah. 1 tshirt. tok bah belanja 1 red dress. this weekend ada rasa nak cari short pant or short skirt kot. sebab comel sangat baby girl pakai these 2 things!

okaylah tu jelah nak bebel.

bye u olss.

selamat berpuasa di minggu2 terakhir ni :)

eisya, mommy sayang eisya sangat2.

show me the way

There is a difference between giving up,

and knowing when you have had enough.

and sometimes the last thing that we want could be the best.

could be.

allah. please show me the way...

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this is it...

ramadhan last year was not a good one for me. worst maybe. that was when i hope someone, some people never exist.

this year i was expecting a good one. a better one. especially with my darling baby around.

it was allright.

but today is not the day. simply not what i want. or even anybody else.

this is it.

and this time, i will just let it be.

i just dont give a damn anymore.

no more...


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ederq tak senonohhh

hello! hows puasa? hihi

semalam buka puasa with gedix. first time buka luar ok thn ni. selalu kat rumah je. homecook u olls.tapi ummyla masak hihi. i selalu masak 1 lauk je.

we buka kat nelayan. ok please jgn pergi!

dah lah tak berapa nak sedap.ramai gila orang.nak makan punnn tak puas ok sebab xkuasa nak beratur panjang.

kalau u olls jenis yg gigih dan tabah, silakan.mmm maybe sebab semalam selangor cuti kot eh. apa2 pun rm35 tak worth. top up la sikit pegi makan tempat lain lagi syiokkk.

eisya mood nak dukung je masa tu coz dia serabut ramai orang n bising. dengan gedix pun tanak. nak dgn mommy n papa je.

ni nak cerita hihi. pasal haku tak senonoh.

at first aku nenen eisya kat surau. pastu the next 2 hour tu aku selamba je kat meja tu kan. malas nak bangun kan.

mula2 kawan2 yang belum kahwin n mengerti ni ingat aku baringkan eisya tido.

pastu yin cakap, derqqq kauuu * with nenen gesture*???

aku ckp aah!

derqqqq tak senonohhhhh!!!!!
*shook head*blushed*cover face*

amy pun terkejut n siap pegi tutup mata tunang dia. walhal im covered ok.baju kurung senangla kan hihi.

other gedix marah dorang jakun hahaaa.

then cakapla pasal bf n all. dorang 2 ni terkejut bila dah explain2 hahaaa!

seng seng ubs betullaa

hahaaaa these peep belum kahwin n ada anak.nanti kau ada anak, kau rasakan yin n amy!!

tak senonoh ehhhhhhh!

memang bengong 2 orang ni hahaaa!

i have been nursing and pumping in public lotsa time. ada je yg pelik, tengok n offer pakai fitting room pun ada. hehe dorang tak biasa kot lagi. tak apa.

apa2 pun aku harap dapat BF eisya lama.one of the reasons, mesti leceh nak bawak bottles, termos and all.

mmmhhhh, ya allah, permudahkanlah!




AMINNNNNNNN, ustazah eisya kata.

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breastfeeding eisya part 2

reading again my part 1 of this, still rasa mcm nak nangis. teringat2 saat2 itu. reading your comments. lagi lah.

menangis and guilty. kenapa guilty?

i took months and months to write about my breastfeeding experince because i dont know how to write well, to not to picture anyone in my family as bad. i think i'm not good in that.

but please bear in mind, that was part 1 and i missed out lots of things. here comes part 2. hope i can tell better.

sorry if macam terewind but i'll just write whatever i remember and whatever pops on the top of my head.

day 3 and 4 nurse KK datang. baik betul dorang. i never had the pink, red?book pun. hubby went there and asked them nicely if they can come home and check me and baby. since eisya kuning and i guess i need BF support, so i mintaklah hubby tanyakan.

they came. siap bawak budak2 practical. abis aku and eisya jadi bahan rujukan hihi.

sah2lah nurse KK mesti cakap BF BF BF BF kan. so again i was glad. sebab dia cakap depan my mom and aunty. and kuning eisya pun tak teruk. dan semakin menurun. so alhamdulillah.

day 3,4 and 5 i urut 3 hari tu. i agak menyesal ambil dia coz tak best sangat. jenis yang urut nak cepat kejar masa. tak sukaaa

day 3 finally susu matang dah keluar. itu pun after ummy tolong urut2 dan tuam dengan air suam. sebabnya breast macam dah bengkak tapi susu tak laju. before tu memang kuning2 je. tak memancut pun kan. masa keluar tu me sangat happy sampai menitik air mata. my ummy pun cakap, kan betul ummy kata hari ke 3 baru ada susu.

walaupun susu matang dah keluar tapi still ummy kata kenapa susu i tak banyak mana. selalunya orang dalam pantang bengkak susu. kalau BF sebelah, sebelah lagi meleleh etc lah. ni my aunty datang lagilahhhh. keep comparing me dengan orang2. stress la jugak

day 5 - check up kuning eisya. me bring the baby with ummy and hubby. alhamdulillah dah tak ada kuning sangat. dr tanya BF ke? i told her lah semua. mengadu. hehe. and dr marina said, susu ada dan cukup ya. kalau baby minum tu adalah.

then my mom kata, tapi susu dia tak memancut2. dan baby asyik nak susu je. macam tak cukup.

tak perlu memancut. nanti saya check mak dia. dr marina kata. dah lah macam garang2 paed eisya ni hihi.

dr check. masa ni my teats luka. awchh. she said, ni bengkak ni susu awak. she squeezed, ni banyak ni susu. bagi je. baby baru lahir memang macam tu. awak bagi je on demand. susu ibu cepat hadam sebab tu dia cepat lapar. tak perlu FM. awal lagi ni.

to be honest, i was lega lah my mom was in there masa dr cakap2 tu.

namun begitu, masih lagi. perkara paling banyak keluar dari ummy adalah:

ummy bukan apa. memang susu ibu bagus tapi susu kak long tak banyak. kesianlah kat baby. kalau susu banyak okaylah. FM bukan teruk pun.

lagipun kak long ni tak sempat nak bertungku berbengkung pun jarang2. nenen je rajin. kenalah jaga badan tu. jamu pun tak makan. dok makan vitamin je.

tak sakit ke breasts tu asik bergayut je. letih laaaa.

betullah kata my LC, kak farah farhan. mak kita ni dia kesian. kat anak and baby. tak nak anak penat asik nenen and kesian tengok baby nangis.

tapi abah i relax. dia faham i nak BF. bila orang datang tanya pasal susu cucu dia, he will proudly said, susu badan ni cucu ni. dan masa tu jugak pakcik2 suggest susu Snow untuk cepat besar ya. haha! yelah eisya kan halus manis je orangnya.

kebetulan masa pantang tu, banyak pulak talk show pasal BF. slowly my mom dah tak push i sangat. cuma dia asyik push i pump kalau betul2 nak BF. and she keeps wondering kenapa susu i tak banyak. time eisya nangisssss je dia offer buat FM.

i waited and waited. BF and BF and BF. dengan eisya colic, kuat nangis. i tak relax pun masa pantang. my baby bukan macam newborn lain yang asyik tidurrr je. read my previous entry on that.

sometimes i cried lah jugak malam2 kat hubby. penatnya BF. malam2 baby berjaga. kerja i asik BF je. i tak cukup tidur. i nak pump pun tak sempat, baby nak BF. BF sambil duduk masa tu. sakit pinggang. kadang2 i tengah makan pun sambil BF. thanks to nursing pillow!

masa tu i tak berani nak nenen baring. ada jugak buat sekali sekala tapi eisya asik tersedak. so tak berani.

ada one time (ke few times?) i dah tak tahan. i panggil hubby. i asked him to hug me. i told him i'm soooo tiredddddd. i'm stressed. susu tak banyak. pam dapat sikit. i cried whole heartedly.

glad he was there to comfort me. he even said, the only reason susu i tak banyak sebab i stress. i think too much. and i guess he was right. and he helped me whatever he can. sampai menkurus dia.

masa pantang orang paling penat, ummy and B. dengan ramai orang datang visit. dengan nak uruskan i and baby. i dont know how would it be if i dont have them.

about pumping pulak, this is my bad. i should have pumped every 3hrs kan. i should have pumped after baby drink. or pump sebelah lagi if baby settle with one breast. i RARELY do that. reason - i penatttt sangat2. u have no idea cemana eisya. she really cry a lot and i mean a lot. just imagine lah. kadang2 dia tak ada waktu dia diam langsung. diam masa minum susu dan tidur dan mandi je. the rest were chaotic cries. stress weh. kalau boleh letak pun paling lama 10minit and thennn....

after few weeks baru i rasa bengkak susu. keras macam batu. barulah susu meleleh keluar bila tgh BF sebelah. barulah memancut ke muka baby kalau i cabut. so i thought susu dah banyak kot.

tapi bila pump, dapat sikit je. first time pump dapat 0.5oz. lepas tu dapat 1oz. lepas tu lama2 1.5oz macam tulah meningkat sikit2. sikit2 tu i kumpul buat stok yang tidak seberapa. dahla selalu kena curi stok masa i mandi ke apa. pantang baby nangis susu je jawapannya. mmmhhh. i pump pun tgh malam masa baby tidur. sambil tengok CSI hihi. siang memang tak sempat. kadang2 je sempat. that explains my stock yang teramat tak banyak.

masa ni kawan yang paling banyak bantu ramai. tapi Raha lah paling banyak support. till today. dia yang ajar macam2. i can never balas her jasa. thanks babe! sometimes aku menangis masa ym dengan kau babe. huhu.

masa tu, perasaan frust tu memang frust. sebab pam tak pernah dapat banyak.

kalau pam dalam bilik, bersama baby and hubby baru aman dan relax dan dapat banyak sikit. sebab hubby akan urut belakang dan akan encourage. if dapat 2oz pun dia akan cakap. ha banyak ni. and he never complained once pun - susu i tak ada ke sikit ke apa ke. kecuali masa kat ward ari tu la. sentap mak! :p

i did what ever i can to increase my milk. milk booster kau cakap je semualah aku nak. hubby beli macam2. ummy masak macam2. i ate macam2. nothing works. direct feeding okay pump dapat sikit.

eisya drinks a lot and often. but maybe sebab i did not pump enough. my bad my bad. suppose penat and stress cemana pun kena pam kan.

masa urut dengan nenek gombak pun dia tak reti nak sengkak tetek sangat kot. dengan kak ina dia okay. masa dia urut ni depan my mom. memang banyak lah urat2 yang tak betul tu yang slow. tiap kali urut dengan kak ina ni. dia urut pastu perah breasts tengok laju ke tak susu keluar. memang laju. ummy pun terkejut tengok.

lepas tu adalah jugak kak ina perah and tadah pakai botol. kalau aku perah 20min dapat banyak tu, dia perah tak sampai 5 minit dapat sama hasil. so maybe aku ni bukan effective pumper. mmmhh.

so after pantang, i start to train eisya bottle. walaupun eisya ada disumbat bottle beberapa kali masa awal kelahiran tu, dia still tak suka bottle. i nak beli bottle lain malas, so paksa jugak pakai tommee tippee. kejam tak mak kau ni. huhu. at first susahlah. tak habis pun susu 2 oz. lama2 ok.

so i pun pergilah kerja dengan stok yang sangat miskin for baby. dengan pengharapan i will produce more masa kerja.

tapi tak okay. lebih pun sikit aje. pulak tu dah penat kerja. aku dah tak pam malam2. kadang tu time eisya minum malam2. sebelah je dia minum kan. sebelah lagi membasahi baju or tilam, aku tutup je dengan jari. lepas tu aku tidur kepenatan. juga alasan pump belum kering lepas strelize. huhu. rugi kan. patut pam jelah sikit ke banyak ke.

apa yang aku pump hari2 kat office tak cukup untuk eisya minum hari2. frozen stock hari2 ambil, tak top up. (eisya tak berapa suka frozen EBM. tak habis 3oz)

lama2 tu mulalah episod sedih. ummy dengan berhati2nya cakap kat aku.

kak long, eisya ni kalau tak ada 15oz sehari susu kak long cemana? lapar dia. kalau dia nangis ummy tak tahu nak buat apa dah. kenalah beli susu tepung. kesian dia. tak apalah campur pun kak long. asalkan dia dapat rasa hari2 susu kak long pam.

sedih tak payah cerita. so terpaksalah top up FM. dah memang aku tak dapat produce secukupnya untuk eisya.

so until now, eisya is 80% on breast milk dan 20% FM. kalau aku ada dengan dia, memang DF jelah.

kasihan eisya. dia tak suka FM. masa awal2 lahir dulu, hospital bagi sample Enfalac dan Similac kot. mak aku pernah try bagi Similac tu. muntah macam air terjun. Enfalac pun muntah jugak awal2 tu.

Aku pun tak tahu nak beli susu apa. hubby beli Enfalac jugak mula2. dia minum tak habis 2oz. kalau susu aku 3oz habis. masa mula2 bagi tu mak aku kata, dia reject. lama2 baru okay. mmmh. tapi second round tu dia beli Enfalac A++. ni okay dia tak muntah.

lepas tu sekarang dia minum 4oz. susu aku or FM 4 oz. uhuhu.

ingat tak aku cakap aku gi jumpa kak farah sarakids. masa ni lah dilemanya. rasa bersalahnya bagi FM. ingat nak try fully BF balik kan.

kak farah suruh buat power pumping every 2jam. tak kisah kerja or kat rumah. tapi maybe aku tak konsisten kot. sebab tu tak dapat lagi nak kumpul stok. tapi lama2 sekarang ni alhamdulillah dapat lah hasil sekali ganda daripada yang aku dapat dulu. puasa2 ni pun boleh lagilah. kadang2 tu je kalau tak cukup minum air, down lah sikit.

maybe kalau aku lebih rajin power pumping ada la lebih sikit rezeki eisya. tapi itulah. my bad.

eisya pulak, kalau aku balik lambat, lepas kul 6 tu dah tak mau botol. amok dia cari mommy. kadang2 tu aku balik kerja, dia baru je ni minum susu tak sampai sejam. tapi bila aku dukung, dia tengok2, tarik2 baju, tengok2 tetek. eiii budak ni kan.

lepas tu kalau aku tak layan, dia nangis lah. haha. bila baringkan nak selak baju, dia gelakkk okay! mesti macam yess dapat! haha. kadang dia buat bunyi nak nenen tu. baby korang ada tak bunyi tersendiri bila nak nenen? hihi eisya will go ehek ehek uhuk uuu uuu camtu haha. muncung2 mulut.

mmmh. so niat aku nak fully BF eisya tak kesampaian due to low milk supply. aku tak give up pun. hari2 aku pump kat office 3kali. tapi time busy 2 kali je. masa aku rajin power pumping tu memang tiap 2 jam kat ofis aku pam. time tak busy boleh la kan.

walaupun eisya dah FM sikit sekarang, aku akan BF as long as eisya nak. as long as ada susu. sikit ke banyak ke aku bagi je. yang penting dia lagi banyak minum susu aku. yang penting eisya sihat walafiat.

kecewa? memanglah wey. hanya orang yang senasib je faham. orang yang tak faham mesti macam2 kata kan.

paling aku tak boleh belah adalah orang yang kata, bagi anak minum susu lembu nanti perangai macam lembu. tolonglah ya. kang tuhan balas kanggg.

aku fikir, tak apa tak rezeki eisya kali ni. insya allah next baby ada. insya allah aku lebih bersedia. lebih kuat. sekarang ni orang kata sikit je sentap, sikit nangis. haha.

ada few cases yang buat aku tak putus semangat:

• ibu angkat pun berjaya fully BF anak dia. sila rujuk blog kak farah sarakids pasal ni.
• ibu yang tak BF anak dia. tapi bila baby 8 bulan nak BF balik. so dia relactate, akhirnya dapat fully BF. ni pun kak farah cerita
• pun kak farah cerita. ada seorang emak ni tanak BF baby dia. bagi FM macam2 dah tapi tak sesuai. last2 hubby dia bawak wifenya ni jumpa kak farah, suruh ajar BF. berjaya okay.
  
• kawan aku, anak first pam constantly dapat 2-3oz. tapi dia rajin. pammmmm je. anak second, sekali pam dapat belas2 oz. meriah susu.
  

so, aku boleh lagi sebenarnya nak fully BF eisya. sebab tu aku tanya kalau dah start solid kurang tak susu dia. :p

sebab kak farah kata, kurang. tapi ada baby tak pun kan.

tak pun rezeki untuk next baby ada. so tak payahlah aku nak sedih2 menangis di malam hari bila tengok anak aku tidur mengenangkan esok aku kena kerja tinggal dia. atau gundah gulana kat office kenangkan eisya tengah minum susu aku or susu mak lembu. lagi sedih, lagi stress lagi kurang susu kan.

at least eisya lagi banyak minum susu aku. at least aku dapat BF dia daripada orang lain yang langsung tak kesempatan nak BF. at least hasil aku pam bertambah dari dulu. at least eisya lagi suka nenen dari botol.

fikir positif je. hubby pun sangat2 encourage. jangan stop BF. untuk antibodi baby kan. eisya tak pernah demam or sakit before ni. last week je. papa dia yang demam setiap bulan tu (tak tahu lah kenapa) jangkitkan virus2 kat aku. aku pulak pergi cium eisya. dahhhh selesema sikit dia. mmh. dulu dia relax je tak pernah jangkit. sapa suruh cium kan. huhu.

so my dear eisya,

sorry sangat. mommy minta maaf ya sayang. :'( minta maaf sebab tak dapat produce secukupnya untuk eisya. kadang2 mommy berharap mommy tak payah kerja. duduk rumah boleh BF eisya directly. we can cuddle lama2. and you can drink as long as you want, as much as you want.

apa2 pun sya, mommy harap eisya membesar dengan sihat. mommy akan berusaha jadi emak yang baik. didik eisya supaya eisya jadi anak yang baik, yang rajin solat, yang pintar, yang berbudi bahasa, yang ingat Allah. dan semua2lah yang baik2. yang lembu2 semua tak mau okay. eheh. tapi tak baik kan dorang ejek lembu. lembu tu tak ada dosa pun. manusia ni kalau jahat lebih teruk dari binatang sebenarnya.

okay dahla tu. panjangnya. dah berapa hari kan dok draft2 hihi. apa2 pun u olls, thanks sebab bagi semangat kat komen korang previously. doakan lah ya kita orang. thanks. terima kasih. banyak2.

hugsss.

solid food, help!

hello! mmh sorrylah ye. sejak ada anak ni asyik update pasal anakkk je. pasal lakibini dah tak cerita dah. heheheh. janganlah boring ya. kalau i boring2 nanti i blog pasal lain pulak.

jap ada ke orang kisahhhhh? hahaha!

okayyy, solid food! eh belum2. anak dara tu belum makan lagi. mommy dia tengah blur2 nak bagi makan apa ni.

lagi 1 week baru dia dapat makan. sekarang ni dah kecap2 air liur. sibuk nak capai orang makan apa. untuk puaskan hati di, bagi pegang gelas pon okay dah. kalau olok2 suap pastu tak bagi, marah dia. dipertipukan, sapa tak amarahh!

yang excitednya mommy dia lah. siap ambil cuti 19hb ni nak suap anak makan. mommy papa dah beli high chair, wipeable bip segala, pinggan mangkuk sudu garpu. ehh? overr. tapi yang steamer blender tu tak dapat kelulusan dari papanya. katanya, steam je pakai periuk kukus kat rumah ni. dan pakai je blender hadiah orang kasi masa kahwin dulu. ada 3 ke 4 tak pakai2 lagi kannn. kisahnyaaa. sedih kann.



okay, i have done few research lah pasal solid food. makin banyak baca makin keliru daku. hahaha. sengaja kan moms zaman sekarang ni. mak2 kita dulu bagi je bubur terus tak ada pun confuse pasal nak bagi fruits ke dulu, vege ke, nasi ke. makan je pun kau. haha

so mommies share lah cemana korang bagi solid food kat baby u olls. what to give first. rice porridge campur ebm ke? fruits ke? avocado ke? vege ke? ikut tak 4days wait rule tu? berapa kali sehari bagi makan? sembelit tak baby apabila mentahi? adakah baby kurang susu lepas introduce solid food?

janganlah bagi aku link haha. aku cuma nak tahu apa yang u olls buat aje. mana tau besh. leh tiru. haha.

mula2 ingat nak try baby-led weaning. akan tetapi, tuan puteri belum pandai duduk sendiri. so kena suapkanlah dulu. lepas pandai duduk, i will try that method.

mmmmhh mommy, sya nak makan KFC bolehh?

oh on another note, BF eisya part 2 nantilah ye. tengah draft sikit2. emosi nak tulis hahaha!

wordless wednesday #3

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

breastfeeding eisya part 1

hi korang! sorry i was meant to share about my experince of breastfeeding my baby months ago but here i am. baru terhegeh2. :p

okay tarik nafasssss. lepasssss.

this is an emotional post. please. bear.with. me...

before i was pregnant, before baby dance lagi, i have done few research on breastfeeding and i told my myself to breastfeed my baby (babies) when the time comes.

when i was pregnant, me and hubby attended breastfeeding classes, read, ask friends who breastfeed their babies, spend on buying all the needs to breastfeed, let my gynae knows about my birth plan and baby feeding.

i really really niat to fully bf my baby. i was determined.

delivery day. when eisya is out of my womb, she was not put on my chest. i saw her being cleaned and i called her, eisyaaa. mommy ni.

then everything went blurry. i was dipingsankan sebab nak jahit.

i woke up 30 minutes later in the labour room still. alone. then the nurse pushed me to my room.

my first question to my mom. baby mana? kak long nak breastfeed.

ummy said, ada nanti dia bawak. tadi nurse dah bagi minum air zamzam. dia minum tau kak long. laju je dia minum. dengan picagari tu. with big grin.

i was sentap. sentap. felt like crying but i hold. i wanted to scream to my hubby. kenapa biarrr? i hold it.

then himawari baby was brought in.

nurse 1: okay mak dia nak bagi susu. ada ke susu awak ni. selalu tak ada lagi ni. meh saya check.

she was squeezing my breast. i just let her. walaupon sakit. although i dont understand why she needs to squeeze me to stimulate my milk. my family was in the room. watching.

nurse 1: kering kontang ni. tak kan nak bagi baby minum. me: tak apa nanti baby hisap ada lah. kena stimulate. nurse 2 came and squeeze me again. and this time keluar kolostrum tu. i was happy. me: ha ada2. bak baby.

i put her on my breast, (i watched youtube on how to latch baby etc). and the nurse 2 tak payah ajar me dah pandai. she even said, ha mak dia dah pandai dah. okay baby minum.

if you remember my post on the delivery, i was given pain killer at 8cm dilation and baby and i were both sleepy masa push dan juga baby still sleepy after keluar. she only cried after dapat antidot.

so she just latched onto my breast and nyonyot for few times and diam. we kacau her but she still asleep.

plus she was being given air zamzam. mestilah dah kenyang kan. so i was so sad because she was only on my breast for good few minutes then she was taken away.

i was really really upset. memanglah air zamzam tu suci. but i want the first thing for her to eat is my milk. nothing else.

then, kisah sedih berterusan apabila i was told by nurses and my ummy not to bf her exclusively. kena ajar fm since i'm working.

and they said baby needs to drink milk takut dehydrate. as my milk is not coming yet. which i know is purely bullshit.

i tried to explain to my mom and she only said, ummy tau lah ummy dah anak 4.

it breaks my heart. :'(

then ada nurse lain datang tanya if nak bf dia tak bagi ubat rehat ni. nanti baby nak susu dia hantar. i agreed.

but sampai sudah tak ada. every time i ask my hubby to check on the baby, she's asleep. or being bottle fed dah.

i was upset. i told my hubby that i want my baby here. but he said, tak apalah. biarlah nurse jaga baby kita. dia orang lagi tahu. awak janganlah fikir awak je. nak breastfeed. kenalah fikir baby if dia tak cukup susu ke apa. nanti dah ada susu baru lah kita bf dia.
i was speechless. i was sad. i was upset. i thought that my hubby would understand me. i thought he's with me.

i'm not doing this for myself. you mommies would understand kan?

but maybe my hubby was too tired kot that time. i woke him up every hour in the night to check the baby. and orang2 lain dok provok nanti baby hipo, dehydrate and what not.

i did not sleep at all. dahla the night before i didnt sleep sebab dah rasa sakit2 sikit2 and neves fikir nak bersalin. so i was really tired. i laid down on the bed layan sakit kat bawah tu, watching the ceiling. and cried sometimes.

and then the nurse came to check me. i asked her about my baby. she said dah minum susu. i asked her berapa banyak. she checked the record. sikit. tak sampai 0.5oz. dia tak pandai botol sangat.

okay lepas ni, baby bangun please bagi saya. saya nak breastfeed!

i said it firmly with watery eyes.

then i mandi2 with hubby's help. goshh seram aku ingat balik sakit jahit tu. walhal 3-4 jahitan baru. and i remember my hubby was very takut tengok aku berdarah banyak masa mandi tu. yela darah nifas tu kan baru2 lagi. he even said, kesian hunny. anywayyyy that is another story.

then i tengah nak pakai baju, tetiba ada nurse datang bawak masuk baby. puan, baby nangis ye.

and she left us with the baby. dengan aku terhegeh2 nak pakai baju dengan sakit tu lagi. i only said to her, kejap ya sayang mommy nak pakai baju.

then i duduk and breastfeed her. she pandai latch. i was happy happy happy.

then, when she is done. she just kept quite and stare at us. i will never ever forget the look of her eyes that moment.

this was it. :)

she was like oh ni ke mommy ni ke papa. and she kept looking and looking at us.

she was so fragile. lembik2 lagi kan masa tu. then she was with me for good few hours. when she cried i sua breasts lagi. and then ada nurse minta baby nak mandikan. but she was being breastfeed masa tu. so the nurse biar dulu.

then that second day, we were discharged.

sampai rumah, people dah start come and visit. penuh rumah. alhamdulillah rezeki eisya. but i was tired lah masa tu. then ada time, my baby cried. my mom cepat2 suruh my hubby amik botol susu. masa tu belum sterilize apa lagi kan. and ada susu sample hospital bagi.

i cakap tak payah lah. biar bagi susu badan je.

ummy keep saying nantilah susu keluar dulu. kesian baby. dah la baby kuning tu. kena minum susu banyak bagi dia kencing berak baru hilang kuning dia.

dahlah ramai orang kat rumah. so i hold my sadness.

my hubby's aunty ada datang visit and she asked me to exclusively bf my baby. i'm glad someone actually feel me!

i told her everything and she keep saying. baby kecik ni tak perlu bagi susu banyak. apa yang ida ada sekarang cukup dah untuk dia.
i know :(

then dan dan tu jugak my mom ambil baby and bottle feed her. still meraung2 lagi baby. and she tak nak bottle. i was helpless.

aunty di, looked at me and i guess she understand me.

then, bila baby dah ngamok2 tanak susu tu. my ummy cakap apa tau kat i.

tula kak long dah niat nak susu badan sangat. kan baby dah tak nak botol. susah lah macam ni.

i only diam and took my baby, pegi nenen kat bilik. i told her. eisya nak mommy kan.

days went by and i was being told EVERY SINGLE DAY to FM my baby. and to give air masak. not just ummy but also from others.

it was ermm. quite stressful. dah la dalam pantang emosi lain macam sikit.

to cut short this long story, eisya kan kuat nangis masa tu. so they thought tak cukup susu. walaupon eisya selalu muntah susu sebab overload asik bergayut.

masa i mandi, baby bangun, they bottle feed my baby. kalau i sempat keluar i terus cabut botol and bf.

stok susu yang i pam sikit2 (dahlah pam dapat tak banyak) digunakan masa i mandi or urut.

and there was one time, i mandi. my baby cried. my aunty bagi nenen dia yang tak ada susu. i was upset. i pernah dengar ada baby terus refuse breasts mak dia sebab kena tipu macam tu.

and i overheard my relatives dok hairan kenapa i insist tak nak bagi FM, dengan tak banyak susu. tak kesian baby ke.

walhal masa tu my baby nangis sebab colic.

bila my baby amok tanak botol yang my mom bagi (tommee tippee) my mom suruh beli latex teats. so hubby bought NUK bottle. pun baby taknak. baby only wants me. and my mom cakap i should rest. bukan asik nenen je.

then days went by sampai lah habis pantang dan i pun dah nak kerja.....

to be continued....

my himawari

korangggg

aku tengah busy tapi nak hilangkan stress kejap. migrain kang dok tengok kerja lama2. hahaha alasann.

nak tau tak. masa mula2 aku tengok eisya, masa nurse bawak masuk ke bilik aku, lepas bersalin tu kan. yela masa mula2 kuar perot tu tak nampak sangat. pulak tu aku dipingsankan. demmm

kat bilik tu, aku tengok je terdetik dalam hatiku. eh anak aku macam himawari!

hahaha! jahat kan. tapi sama okeh. cer korang tengok gambar ni.



kan kan kannn sama kan. haha sian eisya mommy ejek. heheh.

tapi sekarang dah tak sama sangat. tapi kadang2 sama. haha.

aku memang suka amat shin chan. nak2 indon version. i siap hafal lagu dia okay. dah la dulu ada CD punn hafal dialog. beli komik dia.

eii jangan anak aku gatal macam himawari dah. hahahal.

okay korang hafal lagu kat bawah ni. :p

ramadhan al mubarak

assalamualaikum kawan2.

selamat berpuasa engkorang. selamat berterawih. selamat beramal.

last year, aku puasa penuh. tapi terawih nan ado. kerananya, mabuk kepayang merandungkan anakanda daku. makan tak lalu, maka puasa sambil muntahan2. terawih pun tak boleh buat sebab lepas bukak duduk diam2 tak bagi muntah tapi selalu muntah aje lepas solat maghrib haha.

tetiba tahun ni dah keluar dah si kecil yang mensebabkan muntahan tu kan. pun tak boleh nak pergi terawih lah nampaknya ini tahun. semalam daku sorang2 kat rumah dengan eisya. orang lain terawih. mmmhh jeles.

tak apalah jaga anak pun ibadat.

tahun ni puasa dan breastfeed. agagaga. harap2 okay sahaja. ni dah pukul 2. okay aje. :)

sahur tadi aku minum air banyak sampai nak muntah hujung2 tu. ishhh.

ummy tadi sms cakap dia dah buat puding cocktail masa eisya dodo. menu hari ni sup tulang, ayam bakar. lagi apa tak tahu. slurpsssss.

hey dosa dosa. tak baik cakap pasal makan. puasa puasaaaaaaaaa.

okay korang. selamat lah ya. apa kata you all doakan daku kurus di bulan yang mulia ini.

:p terima kasih.