resignation

hello korang...

yeah u read it right. akak dah resign dah kat company sekarang ni . 26/5 ni last day kat sini. lepas tu akak start kerja baru mid June. 

akak bukan tak sabar nak kerja tempat baru tapi akak tak sabarrrr nak cuti panjang, nak spend masa berkualiti dengan anak2. :)

macam2 dah ni plan nak diet, nak masak (aik? kata nak diet kan), nak exercise betul2, nak pergi jalan2, nak buat art work dengan cha, nak bawak dorang pergi swim. wah wah macam2 sungguh. tapi masa tu kejap je kan sebenarnya. huhu. 

akak dah bersama company ni sejak fresh graduate lagi. dapat kerja ni masa final semester. lepas exam, rehat seminggu pastu terus kerja. rezeki akak la tu. 

dari fresh graduate sampai da dekat 8tahun menjadi jurutera, dari single to married woman to a mom of two now. dari kurus ke gemuk. wow Promat memang watch me grow and evolve lah haha. 

akak ni da berapa lama cakap nak cari kerja baru, tahun ni baru bersungguh2. update Jobstreet, update LinkedIn. alhamdulillah dapat. harap kerja baru ni okaylah kan.

sedih la jugak nak tinggal Promat ni sebenarnya huhu. 

dream job akak mestilah nak jadi stay at home mom. tapi nak ada income bulan2la sebab komitmen banyak ni haha. syiok akak tengok korang macam2 bisnes, based at home, watch the kids grow.. 

doakan akak yehhh!

okaylah. tu jela akak nak cerita. 

bye korang.

hai, 3yo eisya and 7m++ safiyya

hai semua.

harap semua sihat2 dan sentiasa dalam kegembiraan bersama yang tercinta. ceywahhh.

saya ok je gemuk macam biasa (or lebih dari biasa) bersama yang tersayang. kikikiki.

eisya sekarang dah 3tahun.

dah besar dah macam2. boleh buat gaduh. haha. tapi dah besar pon still manja mommy sangat2. tadi pagi call dia, dia marah sebab i pergi keja tak kejut dia bawak pusing2. haiyayayaayy. boleh sepanjang dalam perbualan kat phone tu dia hanya cakap - eisya nak mommy eisya nak mommy. last2 bila i cakap bye, dia meraung.

T________________T

dia masih suka princess and all the pinky stuffs. suka buku. tiap2 malam suruh mami bacakan. tapi tak suka kaler ke belajar abc ke numbers ke. kenal dah few tapi tak suka kalau kita asik tanya2 dia ni apa ni apa. art work ke project apa2 dia memang suka.

mula2 adalah risau jugak sebab ramai je budak baya dia dah kenal ABC semua kan. tapi sebab dia tanak belajar takleh paksa gak kan. i talked to a friend yang ada tadika and share my worry and she just laughed and said i je think too much.

so after that i legalah. i know she is a smart girl. i dont have to teach her, read this, hafal this. just show her and she will knowlah eventually. mak dia tah apa2 nak skema suruh duduk and baca and hafal ahhah. tak rti pulak nak make it fun kan. banyak je idea from google tu masa je lahaiii terkejar2 sana sini buat itu ini.
tapi sebenarnya padahal dia sambil2 main ke cakap2 dengan kita tu pon dia belajar.

contoh, zikir2 asas tu, al fatihah dia da boleh nyanyi dengan pelat2 tu la sebab kita asik baca/dengarkan dia kan. tak de pulak paksa dia macam abc tu haha.

takpela kakak, i let you to be kid. at the same time mommy try as much as i can to show you things. tahun depan kita masuk pre-school ok.

social skills dia ok aje. kan terlebih peramah haha tapi recently dia kadang2 malu. masa nak pergi playdate rumah kawan i, dia boleh cakap banyak kali - tapi sya malu mommy! cemana ni eisya maluuuuu! haha

safiyya dah 7 bulan lebih. dah boleh duduk, merangkak (style seret kaki haha), panjat tangga, berdiri berpaut kat sesuatu dan meniti, boleh sebut paa paa. dan masih je kuat nangis hahaa. biasalah anak2 dara i semua vocal power hahahahaaa.

alhamdulillah tengok safiyya baik2 saja. yela kan sebab dulu dia kuning tingggi. pastu kan blood transfusion masa umur dia 5hari. macam2 dr kata risk menda tu. masa tu aku nangis je keja. huhu. harap adik sentiasa membesar dengan sihat dan jadi anak soleh.

time sekarang ni rasa nak pause je adik ni. sedap peluk cium pastu belum pandai nak tantrum macam cha hahaha.

time cha dulu tiap2 bulan update blog kan. ni mak dah malas betul nak update blog. hahaha. sorry dik bukan mami tak sayang, cuma malas nak type2 dah sekarang tua tua ni.

pastu tatau nak cerita apa kan. asik cerita pasal anak je. macam tak ada menda lain ke jadi kat hidup aku ni. ahhaa. banyak je kan tapi MALASSSS hahahaa

okaylah tu je nak lepas rindu kat blog ah konon konon. kikikiki.

take care korang!

2014

assalamualaikum....

my first blog post for 2014. so, what's up everybody? hope nobody missed me. kikikiki

2013 has been nice to me, alhamdulillah. but i ended my 2013 and begin my 2014 with series of orang sakit in the house. started with husband, then eisya and safiyya. after that Ummy being warded for dengue fever and at the same time abah pon demam.

those were tiring weeks. bukan merungut. but i wish i can do better to take care each of them. everyday masa ummy sakit tu i can't stop thinking that how ummy has always been my side whenever i needed her since i was a baby till now. but when she is sick, i cannot be with her all the time due to my commitment with work and family. it was so stressful to think of it.

but i have tried my best and alhamdulillah now she is recovering.

anyway...... 2014.

resolutions? haruslah nak kuruskan badan mak yang macam mmmh mmhh. malaslah nak describe. tapi i am now being the fattest ever in my life. tak kurus gila pon takpela asalkan berat badan yang unggul dan bentuk badan yang sihat. wahh unggul gituuu.

nak kurus ni orang kata bukan susah kan. tapi determination and consistency tu yang susah. tu yang aku selalu fail. aku ni kalau nak kurus senang, kena pregnant. sebab the first 2 trimester tu mesti aku kurus hahaha. tapi lepas beranakkk?? hew hew hewwwww.

kadang2 tanya eisya, mommy gemok tak? dia kata aah mommy gemuk. pastu aku tanya lagi sekali, yeke mommy gemok? dia kata, tak laaa. mommy cantik la dont worry.

sweet sangat. kkikiki. tapi aku malas ah nak tanya laki aku kan takde makna dia nak sweet2 camtu haha. salu dia cakap ni je -- exercise.  huhu salah satu aku gemuk adalah kerana dia suka bagi aku makan macam2 ah.

cis kau ni tak habis2 nak salahkan orang kan. sendiri yang ngap pon and malas exercise!

grrr. apa lagi eh nak cerita. lama tak tulis blog tak reti dah haha.

cha bulan depan 3yo k. besar dah anak dara tu.

safiyya bulan depan dah 6m. tak sabar nak kasi dia makan. tanda2 ready nak makan tu dah banyak dah tapi mommy of course tunggu till 6months. tapi malas pon ada sebab fikir kena prepare mcm2 puree la apala haha. cha kan dah senang makan adult food aje.

amboi amboiiii. banyak cantik kau nak malas2??!!!!

okay okay. semangat semangat. tu jela nak cerita. semoga semua yang dicita tercapai.

ok bye korang. have an amazing year ahead!

love,
mommy chafya

hola

hola, assalamualaikum...

ke hadapan kepada para pembaca yang ku tidak ketahui wujud lagi ke tidak. hehe.

it has been a while.... hehehe sejak jadi mak anak dua ni tak ada mood sangat nak berblog. masa tu macam tak cukup sokmo. kerja pulak. mmh. naik cuti je keja memang banyak. dalam mode tengah adapt lagi ni both regional technical director and regional technical manager tak ada. kadang tu jadual pam susu pon dah kelam kabut. huhu.

eisya. macam biasa banyak cakap. busy sokmo dia. tapi kesianlah. rasa dah kurang sangat spend time dengan dia. sedih mak. yelah kan, adik needs mommy too. mommy will try the bestlah nak provide the best for you both.

kadang2 eisya ni ok aje understanding. macam budak besar. orang tengok dia kadang cakap perangai dia macam budak 4 tahun. tapi kadang2 ada jugak time dia mengada2. biasalah kan budak. yang tak biasanya makpak dia lah. kadang teremo. huhu. sian cha.

as for safiyya, she is now 3months dah. 5kg dah. dah pandai meniarap and tumbuh gigi seketul. dah terasalah gigitan dia. bukan dia gigit tapi masa nak lepas susu tu kadang dia ketap kan. huhuh.

ada 2 anak ni. mmh best lah. especially when we get to spend quality time together. kadang duduk atas katil berempat in our room pon rasa happy gila dah.

Alhamdulillah.....

tapi time melampir pon ada k. tu wajib hihi.

kalau korang dah lama baca blog ni mesti dah bosan aku asyik mengadu gemuk je kan.

nah terimalahhh seadanya. aku masih gemok. tengok ni dabel cin. bawah bukan dabel tapi triple.

damnnnnn. senang je nak kurus kan. exercise. eat clean.

tapi nan hado la kan nak konsisten aku ni. tak tau nak cakap cemana k. bila ni nak datang hidayahhhh.

okaylah tadi macam happy2 je type semua ni tapi sekarang dah stress bahahhaa.

ok bye!

The birth story of Eisyqina Safiyya

Hello. 

I miss my blog! haha. 

Yeah I know I know. This is so basi already. I have drafted my blog/FB notes for 10times I guess when I was still on leave at home being mak lampir. But satu pon tak complete. Too many distractions! That is me being a mommy of two demanding diva princesses. Sooooo tiringgggggg. So I will really need to rest for quite sometimes until we produce another one! So far2 anak-anakku, pregnant mabok teruk. Beranak senang. Lepas beranak, agaggaaga diva dedua. hehe. 

OK. Back to the birth story. Alhamdulillah it was easy. But only the labour part. Others was pretty tuff. 

I actually planned for water birth at home. And I agreed. Yes. I je agree. Hubby disagree. I can't even get my mom to support me. I actually wanted it really bad. So I dragged hubby to gentle birth class (Hayati Muzaffar, hi Yatt! :) ), hoping that he will get the hidayah and agree for my earlier plan. 

Apakan daya semua harapanku menjadi debu. So finelah. Hospital pon hospital lah asalkan I get to deliver as how I want and mendapat restu suami. So we talked to our doctor, presented my birth plan. Everything seems to be good. 

My EDD was supposed to be on 21/8/2013. I prayed hard so that I deliver a week before that because Dato' Dr Zarul will be flying to US on my EDD. And I was quite worry if dia takde then my birth plan takut doctor lain tanak layan. But he said he already briefed his team about my plan. I also prayed so that baby give mommy can nak raya dulu. So I really wanted my baby to come out on 39weeks - 14/8/2013. punya demanding mak dia kasi arahan kat baby dalam perut.

So... raya 8/8 kan? We raya at my parents' house at Sg Buloh je sebab tanak travel jauh2. 38weeks dah masa tu kan. Tiba2 Allah nak uji kitaorang. Hubby was admitted to Tropicana Medical Centre on 3rd raya. He had appendicitis and inflammation kat usus. So dahh kena

beraya kat hospital pulak kan. So I took care of him for 4nights. He had to stay longer in the hospital sebab on antibiotics tu. Actually masa kat hospital, I was so veryyy tired. I did not get to sleep well. Yela dengan perut besar, tempat tidur kecil. I really missed my bed lah that time haha.

Day1 at hospital - Hubby went for the operation.

Day2 - jaga hubby. 

Day3 - ingat nak balik rumah nak rest tapi hubby baru lepas buat CT scan so he asked me to stay sebab tak larat sangat. 

Day 4 - I went to office kejap nak setel few things. Then back to hospital. 

Day 5 - teman husband sambil buat reply emails andddddd..... 

so it was 14/8/2013, day 5 at the hospital jaga hubby. it was 5pm++ and i was sitting on my gym ball while replying my emails, sipping my red raspberry tea. suddenly i realised that my braxton hicks got a little bit stronger and frequent. this BH thingy, i got it since i was 7months pregnant i guess. wait, was it 5? dunno. tak ingat. masa pregnant eisya tak ada pon BH ni. i read that it is normal to get BH earlier during second pregnancy and we don't normally have it during the first pregnancy. 

i started feeling curious, so i watched the clock. so the BH came in 4minutes interval. i thought, 'wait. if it's BH why is it constant? and if i'm in labour, why am i not feeling the pain?'

i told my girls, and masa tu yaya and dyah said - ederq! u are having a mild contraction. u are in labour. malam ni kau beranak!

aku ni ye ye in denial. tak la bukan ni. BH je. haha. 

i also told Ayin ( i proposed her earlier to be my birth mate as hubby won't be around). asked her to get herself prepared. manalah tau kan nak beranak kejap2 lagi. 

i texted Yatt also, and she said. don't time. u will know when the time comes. 

i texted my mom - 'ummy. kak long rasa perut mengeras setiap 4minit. tapi tak sakit pon. nanti ummy lepas buka puasa, datanglah terus. kaklong balik tido kat rumah malam ni. mana tau esok2 beranak.'

and she called, tak cakap helo tak bagi salam --eh kaklong! setiap 4minit tak lama dah nak beranak tu!!! kejap lagi keluar la tu. siap2 nanti abah amik sekarang ni dia amik. 

eiii belumlah ummy. kak long tak sakit. takyahlah dulu. malam ni lepas buka ummy datanglah amik kaklong. esok kot ni. 

eiiiii budak ni! main2 dia. nak beranak dalam kereta ke? ummy dulu anak kedua tengah sidai kain sakit pastu terus beranak. takde lama2 punya. siap2. abah amik sekarang!!

mmh. that's my mom. 

so around 7pm, abah dah sampai kat bawah. i minta restu from hubby then left him alone. sedih pulak nak tinggal dia sorang2 kan. 

went into the car and marah abah, tak nyempat2 nak amik. kak long tak sakit laa. barang pon tak sempat kemas.abah cakap. ummy yang suruh. *buat muka inesen

dalam kereta, abah drive laju selit2 semua. macamlah baby dah nak keluar masa tu. eii abah. bawak slow2 je. kaklong bukan nak beranak sekarang. 

abah kata, eh taklah. abah nak buka puasa ni.

cover habissss. 

sampai rumah, marah ummy pulak. kenapalah panik sangat miii. 

ummy cakap, eh abah yang nak amik. *buat muka inesen

cute sangat dedua ni. suka pura2 inesen.

then, ummy asked me to eat and solat and mandi. lepas tu kita gi hospital! 

tak sakit teruk lagi la ummy. nantila. 

eii kang beranak kat rumah, nak ke?

nak!

budak niiiiii. sapa nak sambut?

ummy la! 

biar dok ponggggg! 

kikiki. so, makanlah. tapi masa makan dah rasa makin intense pulak. pon masih in denial. ni contraction ke. lepas makan baru macam pasti. ok. i'm in labour. sakit oi. i thought, esok kot beranak.

again, i made myself a cup of red raspberry tea, swallowed 5 capsules of VCO. i tried to lie down on my bed after mandi and solat magrib (cos i miss my bed so much :p) but that did not feel right. 

i went downstairs, sit on my gymball and breathe each time i feel the pressure on my back. 

eisya on the other hand keep bugging me. yela she missed me la kan. dah berapa hari tinggal dia with tokmi. each time i breathe deeper she asked. mommy kenapa? mommy ok ke?

and my brother, iwan keep asking me to go to hospital. siap cakap. jangan tunjuk tererlah! pegi hospital la wehh.cait budak ni. 

then, i asked bibik to prepare some hot water for me to bathe. sebab baru teringat warm water can reduce the pain. oh hell yeah. it was such a pleasure when i had warm water on my back each time the pain came. i was even thinking to deliver the baby alone in the toilet because it felt so good there. ahha. 

tapi tiba2 muka nagaan ummy menjelma seandainya aku terberanak di dalam toilet, lalu aku cepat2 keluar toilet dan pakai baju dan cakap kat ummy. ummy solat la isya'. pastu kita gi la hospital. dah boleh pergi kot. 

but i'm soooo wanna try water birth okkkk! maybe next time. hehe.

then, i told Ayin to come over. 

915pm - in the car, i actually breathe harder. i started to vocalised - Allah. Allah. each time the pain came. but it was still bearable. i also asked my brother, alan to urut my pinggang each time i was in pain. man, it felt so good haha. 

i went to the hospital counter and asked for a room. they said ward semua penuh, dr zarul MC hari ni.

this time i dah start sakit kuat. it was 930pm. 

habis cane ni. saya nak beranak ni. dr zarul kasi saya beranak kat ward. *sambil tahan sakit. 

then one of the nurses nak tarik i masuk bilik nak buat VE and CTG. 

i immediately told her - eh tanak tanak. u bukak my file ada birth plan dalam tu. dr zarul cakap takyah. i nak terus masuk beranak je ni. *sambil tahan sakit. 

then pakgad came nak bawa i naik ward. he asked me to sit on the wheelchair. i declined. he insisted and before he finished his words, i said firmly. TAK NAK! SAYA NAK JALAN! 

then tengah2 tunggu nak masuk labour room (sebab ward penuh), i wailed. Allah. Allahu Akbar. in front of everybody at the ward counter. there were some women, watching me and smiled to me, like good luck smile like that. hehe thanks. 

i went in the labour room with my brother, alan. he asked if ummy can get in to replace him. i said no!!!! haha. i need his hands to urut me k. 

this time, it was different from my first labour. i was well aware on what's going on. i was in full control. yela kan. i was all by myself. hubby was not around. alan tu pon tekejut kot tiba2 kena teman i beranak. haha. 

i was standing, bearing the pain. and alan massaged my back each time the surge came. i drink a lot of water too to keep myself hydrated.

then, the midwife came in.

nurse: puan, boleh tak kita nak check VE? kita nak tau progress puan. 

me: tak boleh! baca birth plan i. dr zarul dah agree. 

nurse: tapi kita nak tahu puan bila nak beranak. 

me: saya dah nak beranak ni! dr zarul mana? nurse saya mana? (sebab dr zarul dah assign 1 midwife for me)

nurse: dr zarul mc. tak boleh datang, tak boleh bangun dia slipped disc. kita check VE sekali je k puan. sekali je saya mintak. 

i was soo frustrated at this point. hubby not around, ward penuh, dr takde. blerghhhh. 

me: haih yela yela. tapi tunggu saya tak ada surge baru boleh. 

nurse: ok. puan naik atas katil ye. 

i was on the floor at this point of time. having my head and arms rested on chair, kneeling. i took one of the pillows to support my knees. 

me: *tried to get up. saya tak boleh panjat dah katil ni. 

alan: kat lantai je boleh?

nurse: okay kita lapik. so puan, da boleh buat ve?

me: belum. ada surge ni. 

nurse: ok now?

me: sabarrrrrr! sakit lagi nii.

me: i rasa kan. u memang tak boleh buat dah ni VE. tak yahlah. baby dah nak keluar ni. cuba tengok. 

nurse: *she bent down and checked down there and said Allah! dah nak keluar ni.  

other nurses rushed and took their equipments. i saw few of them were reading my birth plan once in a while before talking to me. 

nurse: puan. saya (dont remember her name). saya yang akan jaga puan ye. kita panggil dr ratna boleh tak puan? 

me: korang tak leh ke sambut baby ni? 

nurse: kena ada dr jugak puan. kalau apa2 hal better dr ada. 

*diam. 

tiba2 alan cakap, ada ke dr lain? 

nurse: ada. kena call. dalam 15minit dia datang.

alan: ha ok panggil dr tu. 

pandai2 aje budak ni. whateverlah. aku dah nak beranak ni.

during my pregnancy, i always said i wanted to try to squat. but i did not feel like squatting at all. kneeling was the best position at that moment. 

mula2 i kneeling and alan support me from my right side. then i suruh alan amik kerusi, bantal. i rest my knees on the bantal, and both hands and head on the chair. nurse getting ready behind me. sorry la nurse u have to see my bum. kiki. 

I was layaning my surges and i can remember i did smile through the process, visualising the baby. reciting alhamdulillah for each surge, as the baby is 1 step closer to mommy. i tried hard to remember what I have learnt to visualise, to breathe calmly. But there were 1 time I wanted to cry and said sakitnya... then I quickly said to myself, baby is coming soon. relax. breathe. ingat Allah. sakit is good. baby is closer.  

Then one of the nurses asked, puan. ada sorang perempuan nak masuk. boleh ke? 

oh tu kawan saya. kasi dia masuk. 

then, Ayin stepped in. i did not think that she can actually make it. I was happy la to see her that time. Alan was being very supportive. kelakar pulak ingat balik bila dia kata, ok dah nampak kepala. sikit lagi kaklong push!

well, i did not push at all. i breathe and breahe and breathe. i dont remember hearing the word or should i say instruction to push from any of the midwives. so they really honoured my birth plan. 

Ayin tanya, kau nak aku amik gambar tak? NAKKK. haha. nasib ada ayin adalah jugak gambar beranak.

what? no, oi mana boleh letak sini! haha. 

Alan and Ayin stroked me, giving me good words. just what i need and finally she came out at 10.30pm. She was born en caul. Alhamdulillah. Orang tua kata lahir dalam tembuni, orang berani hehe. mudah mudahan. 

Unfortunately she tertelan tahi already so terrrpaksa jugak buat suction. dunno why dia distress. perhaps mommy stress fikir macam2 dalam kalut2 tu sebab hubby tak dr takde ward takde haha. tapi semua ok alhamdulillah ya Allah.

One of the nurses wanted to clamp the cord immediately but Ayin stopped her and told her to wait few more minutes. Thanks babe. 

Then I took my baby to my chest. She tanak BF maybe sebab fobia kena suck. then I just hold her jelah, skin to skin. bau baby masa ni wangiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. sekarang pon wangi huhu kalau boleh buat perfume bau macam baby kan bes hehe. 

Then Dr Ratna came in. I dah nervous ni cemanalah kalau uri lambat keluar mesti dia nak cucuk je kan. then she gave few more minutes kalau tak keluar jugak she will intervent lah since risau of bleeding risk. lupalah dia explain apa. i just said ok.

Then she checked if I got any tear. Alhamdulillah no tear, just a minimal grazing that do not require any stitch. 

So selamatlah. Alhamdulillah Allah made it easy for us. 

Thanks also to the hospital team (Putra Medical Centre, Sg Buloh) for honouring my birth plan. 

Next day, hubby dapat hospital leave and came to visit me and our baby. 

Then Dr Zarul called me, asked if everything is OK. and he apologised sebab tak dapat datang. He was actually looking forward for my birth as he wanted to experience a new thing as what we call as gentle birth. tapi apa boleh buat dia tak dapat bangun langsung, slipped disc. huhu. 

Safiyya ni anak yang mendengar kata sebab dari awal mommy kata keluar masa 39 weeks which was 14/8/2013 haha. thanks baby. 

So, next baby? Water birth (at home) please B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hehehehe.  

OK bye!!! Wishing all expecting moms the best! 

Eh cop cop. Before I end this, I'd like to share what I think help to ease labour pain.

• Red raspberry tea leaf (started after 36weeks, till now)
• VCO - virgin coconut oil (started even before pregnant, till now)
• Air kelapa muda (started since early pregnancy - to ease mabuk. some say jangan amik awal2. but I amik aje)
• Visualisation 
• Zikir
• Amalkan Surah Maryam, Surah Yusuf
• Restu suami

Apa2 pon, kita hanya berusaha dan Allah yang menentukan segala. No matter how you deliver your baby, Allah has promised a great return for us, mothers. Niatkanlah segala usaha kita kerana Allah. Tiap orang ada rezeki masing2. 

So, berusahalah macam2 and let God. :)

EISYQINA SAFIYYA

all is well

salam korang.

selamat hari raya to all!

saja nak update. lepas raya,since hari raya ke3 we all beraya mat hospital sebab husbeng ku hospitalised.

dia dah went for operation.and now on antibiotics treatment,still at the hospital.

sabtu-rabu petang dlm maghrib tu, i was still with him at the hospital. i mean that tropicana medical centre lah.

malam tu, aku pulak masuk hospital putra medical centre. hehe lahirkan adik eisya.

alhamdullillah.semuanya allah permudahkan.

3rd day of being a mommy of two now. nantila kita story k.

please pray for my man's speedy recovery.

thanks!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

minta maaf

dah nak raya dah u ols. di sini akak ingin mengambil kesempatan meminta maaf kepada u ols atas keterlanjuran kata, kekhilafan diri ini....

minta maaf hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki yeh.

cakap pasal minta maaf ni. semalam akak tersentuh hati lah.

kan akak cerita pasal eisya yang kuat amokan sekarang. dia memang susah betul nak mandi, gosok gigi sekarang.

semalam dah lekit2 sangat dah pon, kaki pon itam, nak tidur tapi tanak mandi. so akak tak peduli la kan. memang jirus jelah. dia bukan nangis betul pun tapi dia buat suara nangis. so akak memang buat dek je.

pastu da siap2 semua tu dia cakap nak susu. oklah akak pon bawak dia turun bawah. japgi sambil turun tangga tu dia cakap.

e: mommy... sya mintak maaf eh. sya showi eh? 
m: minta maaf? kenapa?  (masa ni terkejut sebab tak pernah dengar dia cakap perkataan minta maaf tu)
e: tadikan sya kai(cry) tadi tu tanak mandi tu. sya mintak maaf eh?  (sambil tepuk2 badan i)
m: ok sya. mommy maafkan. mommy pon mintak maaf sebab marah eisya ok? 
e: ok.

perhaps she got it masa each time lepas dia kena marah yang baik punya, i said sorry kot. dia faham dah kot.

okaylah u ols. tu je nak cerita. selamat hari raya semua. semoga semua ibadah kita diterima Allah.

of kakak eisya

eisya. 2 tahun 5 bulan dah anak mommy ni. makin besar makin cerdik. makin banyak akal. banyak alasan.

tapi...

makin manja, makin mengada punya. especially these few weeks. orang kata sindrom orang nak dapat adik. mmh. perhaps lah.

tapi....

uji kesabaran mommy papa banyak banyak banyak sangat. she normally behaves OK bila one of tak ada. tapi kalau either of us ada, especially papa ada, pergh dia punya mengada tu memang maksimumlah.

makpak dia memang berasap2 telingalah jugak.

tapi....

bila fikir2 balik. okaylah mungkinlah she knows adik is coming real soon. no matter how much we tell her we will love them both equally, there is always number one and two. things will never be the same, for either of us. but, it can be better, right? not to the worse.

so i will try my best not to marah marah. to sabar. to show more love. i tried everything. but sometimes i break too lah. i'm only human kan.

then i realise. she wants more time with mommy/papa. memang nak attention je.

semalam, i was on sick leave (again). walaupon tak berapa nak sihat tapi my nesting instinct nak beranak ni dah ligatlah nak kemas2 apa patut. pack2. orang lain mana tahu kan nak pack and kemas apa semua. so, masa dia tidur tu non-stop kemas2 semua.

pastu dia bangun, amok la tengok papa je ada. nak mommy nak mommy! seb mommy ada. senyum panjang. i immediately stopped doing whatever i was doing and spent time with her. suap breakfast semua. main sama2. bla bla bla. untl i got dizzy again and got to sleep. hehe. papa pulak take over.

she looked happier and tak mengada. malam pulak, dia ajak i masuk play room and main dengan dia. i baruuu je nak berehat2. tapi muka dia masa i said, main kat depan je boleh tak? mommy nak rest. 

dia macam diam pastu ajak papa, jom. ok then i got up immediately and went to the play room with her.

tantrum.

now, she throws tantrum almost everyday now. macam dah rutin. macam budak besar. siap cakap -- mommy papa tak shayang eisya. eisya nak duduk soyang2. mommy papa kuar janan masyuk biyik ni. eisya nak dok soyang2. biar eisya biar eisyaaaa.

and she really tolak us out from the room and tutup pintu and nak kunci. nasiblahhhh mommy sempat tahan tak kasi kunci.

at one point. i cried. what have i done wrong? and she is only 2.5years old for god sake. i remember locking myself in the room when i was mad with my parents when i was 6. or 7 or 8. sigh. kids nowadays....

masa tu, i tried peluk dia kuat2 tapi dia pon kuat. try baca ayat2 quran, did not work. pastu i angkat je dia. called hubby and cakap jom kita mandikan budak ni.

of courselah dia struggle kan tanak mandi. jiran2 mesti dengar eisya nangis macam apa je kan.

lepas mandi dia tak berhenti lagi nangis. taknak pakai baju semua nak bogel je. papa dia dah mula nak menyinga balik tapi i cakap. dah! jangan marah lagi. makin marah makin amok. biar je dia nangis sampai penat!

then, dia terus cakap nak mommy. nak peluk mommy. nak tido kat mommy. she was calmer. she stopped crying slowly.

so ubat dia mandi rupanya. dan marah balik hanya make it worse. at least at this stage lah. bukan tak leh marah langsung. tapi ada caralah kot.

i'm not the best mom, but having her banyak ajar erti sabar. kalaulah zaman tak ada anak, budak meraung2 camni dah lama dah i rasa nak lempangkan aje. haha. biasalah tu bila dah jadi emak kan. papa dia naik suara kat anak and marah2 pon i rasa nak smack down papa dia. walaupon hati ni membara bengang dengan anak amok. hehehe.

in 2weeks++ time i will deliver her adik.in shaa Allah. so i think i will just try my best to layan her. tidur atas lengan mommy all night, nak dukung, nak peluk, nak itu ini. kadang masa makan pon dia nak i riba. nak tidur berpangku. nak masak ponnn nak berdukung. mmh buat jelah selagi mampu. dengan perot besar ni lagi. dengan dia yang 13kg tu.

ada time i cakap. kesianlah mommy. mommy nak bawak adik lagi ni.

tapi dia boleh jawab -- mommy dukung eisya kat tepi ni tak kena adik ponnnn.

tapi kalau dia terlanggar adik, cepat2 dia -- i'm showi adik. kakak tak senaje. showi ok showiii.

kadang2 dia amok, kita nak marah, adaaa je dia jawab buat kita rasa nak gelak balik. sekarang bibik pon selalu kena marah dengan dia especially kalau kitaorang ada.

kalau ada semut je, dia cakap, bibik tak mop ke lagiii. kalau bibik nak mandikan ke suap makan ke -- bibik tak payah. bibik tak pandaiii. kalau apa2 je dia cakap -- mana boyeh macam tu bibikkk! biarkan eisya buat jeeee. dia punya mana boyeh tu i dengar pon geram ok.

kadang dia dah tau kan dia buat salah. lama2 tu dia tetiba cakap:

e: mommy, eisya shayang mommy. 
m: tq. mommy pon sayang sya.
e: mmh.
m: sayang mommy banyak ke sikit?
e: banakk. 
m: banyak cemana? 
e: *depa tangan.
m: wow banyaknyeee. 
e: mommy nak banak lagi tak? 
m: nak la. nak banyak banyak banyak.
e: tak yah. dah cukup ar tuu. penat dah eisya ni. 

FINE.... T______________T

tu baru satu anak. nanti keluar lagi sorang princess ni hahahahaha. takpelah. kita masa kecik pon macam2 kan. so it's payback time muahahha.

sekarang kita orang dah start invlove her with adik's things. kemas2, shopping semua. dia suka. siap cakap kat adik. adik, kakak toyong adik bawak ni tau. kakak kemas ni tauuu.

hari tu dia ada pegangkan lampin adik masa tengah shopping pastu dia distracted menda lain so dia letak je lampin tu kat mana2 tah. then papa dia sound, kakak, kenapa letak lampin adik sini?nanti orang amik. 

dia cepat2 amik pastu cover -- tak ar. kakak letak kejap je kakak nak tenok syabun kakak ni. kakak amik bayik ehhh? 

dia ok je bila cakap adik nak pakai baju2, kasut2 dia, dia ok je. tapi ada gak buat perangai nak pakai baju adik yang i beli. berkenan kot haha.

camtu la ye jadi mak pak ni. takkan nak time dia behave je kan. time mengada tu kenala hadap. huhu.

semoga Allah permudahkan kita semua untuk didik anak2 kita, semoga kita sabar dan semoga dorang ni membesar jadi anak yang baik, soleh beriman dan baik hati.

ameen, ya allah.....

ni dia yang suruh amik gambar. hehe. shayam mommy niiiii

tiga puluh

ok. it's finally here. i am 30 years old today.

when i was younger, i have pictured myself being 30 with a family, kids and all. good career, stylo, rich.

bahaha! i was too ambitious back then. i mean i am not there yet, as i imagined i'd be.

whatever it is, i am still happy with i what i have now. not to say that i is seorang yang cepat berpuas hati but alhamdulillah syukur for what Allah has given to me now.

i am 9months pregnant now. and this baby insya allah sama dengan mommy nanti - Leo and Syawal baby. hehe.

gosh. what else can i say. alhamdulillah. thanks Allah.

kalau ikut usia Rasulullah, ni dah half way to 60 years old. banyak lagi menda yang tak terbuat untuk bekalan kat sana nun.

semoga saya tak mudah lalai dan bila Allah bagi petunjuk tu janganlah Kau palingkan hati ini ya Allah.... 

and most importantly, 30 years back, this is the day when Ummy was in labour for the first time of her life. may Allah grant her with jannah. my ummy, the greatest woman, my idol, my love. love you ummy. 

30

sembang sembang

assalamualaikum...

kejap je kan masa tiba2 dah 10 hari puasa. hope everyone is having a great, meaningful ramadhan.

i dah 35weeks. puasa was lot easier masa cha dulu masa tu 3months pregnant. sebab dah memang mabuk. tak selera makan. so puasa was not a problem that time. kali ni macam menletihkan jugak dengan tak cukup tidur kan. dah banyak kali tertidur masa drive pagi2. i know i know bahaya sangat. huhu.

i don't know why lah sekarang ni i memang asik nak tidur je haha. penattt sokmo. before ni gejala susah nak tidur. ni gejala suka tidur! kikkiki. but thinking again, ok la kan. nanti ada newborn kembali zombie. lagipun cha sekarang tidur lena sepanjang malam. well most of the time lah. sometimes dia bangun nak air or nak peluk mommy or mengigau! hohh part ngigau tu mmhh mmhh mhh. ikut i la tu kot haha. 

eisya sekarang makin manja dengan mommy. tidur pon atas lengan ok. kebas tangan mak nak. kalau tak sentuh kulit masa tidur je kan nanti dia freak out bangun cakap -- nak mommyyyy nak mommyyyy! sekarang bangun tidur je perkataan pertama nak mommyy nak mommyyyyy. bangun sahur pon nak mommy riba sambil i makan tu, dia tidur atas riba ok. baby sangat.

oh memang pon suka berlakon baby. suka cakap pelat2 baaa takkkk tatakkk neneneneen. suka nangis2 macam baby. suka buat lembik2 badan. suka didodoi. haha macam2 mek cha ni kan.

sekarang ni dia asik pretend play je. kaler2 ke buku2 yang kena tulis2 tak suka sangat. baca okay lagi la tengok gambar semua. kalau bacakan buku kat dia pon dia suka tambah2 cerita. kadang i cerita boleh salah pulak tu. dia siap betulkan ikut imagination dia. hehe.

but she is missing her swimming class so much lah. tiap2 malam before tidur cakap, mommy eisya nak pergi syuwim eh esyok? alahai nak. tunggu lepas raya la ok. tu pon kalau papa sudi bawak eisya every weekend. 

on her adik. mmh. adik is doing fine. cuma she is quite small for her age. maybe sebab puasa ke apa ke tataula. tapi kalau ikut genetic pon my mom delivered all her babies under 3kg. tengok la cemana nanti dik. kalau mommy tak larat memang mommy buka je puasa.

nama dia pon kitaorang tak decide lagi. bila tanya papa dia. dia kata alaaa nanti B fikir fikir penat je nanti mesti hunny jugak yang nak decide. eiiiiiiiiiiiiiii yela kalau tak sedap memanglah kan kalau sedap n bermakna baik2 takpe hehe.

barang baby pon belum 100% complete. huhuh. next weekend kena all out lah.

you guys, please pray that i will deliver this baby masa 39++ before edd yehhh! sebab i nak raya dulu and my edd pulak dr i tak ada kat malaysia hehehe. lagipon lepas cuti raya nak terus sambung maternity leave. malas dahh nak datang kerja ni haa. hope tak bazir sangatlah maternity leave tu. amik 1 week before due. masa cha dulu 2weeks before. and memang boringlah tunggu sebab cha kuar right on her edd kan.

i got a feeling that this baby will come out sooner than her edd tapi please kasi can mommy raya dulu ok? hehehe. masa raya tu i will be 38weeks. fewh!

okaylah tu jela nak cerita. sempena ramadhan ni meh tengok cha buat apa haha. 

dia memang sibuk nak baca quran. lepas mommy solat je hulur quran cakap mommy, kita baca syama2. tapi susah ok nak baca dengan dia sebab dia asik nak selak2 page je kan. pasni kena belikan dia quran iqra' ke yang jenis plastik tu kan tak koyak.